


Until you let me hold you at night.

by AweburnPhoenix



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Cute Mulder, Episode: s07e04 Millennium, Episode: s07e07 Orison, F/M, Flannel pajamas, Fluff, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21596167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AweburnPhoenix/pseuds/AweburnPhoenix
Summary: The reason why Scully has a slightly too big flannel pajamas.}» Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcasthere
Relationships: Fox Mulder & Dana Scully, Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 18
Kudos: 127





	Until you let me hold you at night.

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to suilven for her beta work and encouragement 😍😍
> 
> Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcast [here](https://soundcloud.com/audiofanficpod/xf-until-you-let-me-hold-you-at-night-by-aweburnphoenix)

They have just kissed, for the first time, and she doesn't know what to do about that. She's wanted it for a long time, but now it feels scary. She wants more of it but also wants to ignore the whole thing.

Driving him home, in complete silence, she tries to hide the smile on her face from him. He's grinning like an idiot, too. That's what she's fearing. She doesn't want what they have to change. 

Parking the car in front of his building she turns the engine off. Silence. 

"Do you want to come up?" he finally asks, almost in a whisper. 

"Your arm is hurt," she answers quickly, trying to justify herself. 

Worst excuse ever, she realizes. He knows. But he keeps smiling. 

"You're right. Good night, Scully. Thanks for the ride."

There's no hint of anger in his tone. She kind of wishes there was. 

For what seems like hours she stays, thinking, inside her car. Maybe he was just being polite. Maybe he didn’t intend what she thought he did. Maybe he needs help getting out of that tight t-shirt…  _ Dana _ ! She's afraid of what might happen between them. Nonetheless, she steps out of the car. She's a medical doctor; she can separate personal matters from taking care of a patient. That's what this is. 

"Your arm is hurt," she utters, again, as soon as he opens his apartment door. "I figured you might need help—."

"Are you coming on to me?" 

She reddens, she can't help it. Fuck her fair skin. 

"Mulder! It—."

"Relax, I was just joking." He's handling the whole thing better than she is; what's wrong with her? She feels like a teenager. She should be better at it than this. 

Only now she notices he has taken off his t-shirt and is wearing a pajama top. He didn't need her help at all. She feels so stupid. 

"I see you don't need any help, I'll be on my way. Sorry for bothering you. "

"No!" He yells a little bit too loud, a little bit too quickly. "No, no. Of course I could use your help. I can  _ always _ use your help. Please, come in."

He looks at her, intently. It's not just about the t-shirt. He steps back, opening the way. 

She's afraid of going in, as much as she wants to. She's done this before. Whenever he's been badly hurt she's helped him; which, honestly, there have been more times than she can count. She can do it again. 

"I meant it,” he reassures her. "It's late, and it's freezing. I know it's only a 30-minute drive, but I'd rather you stayed. No funny business. I promise." He just wants her around, she can tell. Honestly, she wants to be around him, too. "You can take the bed," he adds after a pause. 

"Mulder, your arm is hurt," she says for the third time. The sentence seems to have lost its meaning by now. 

"It's not like I haven't slept on the couch in worse conditions.”

It still amazes her how he's been living without a functional bed for more than seven years. Her back is dead after the second night on her brother's pullout. 

"I'll sleep on the couch. Or I'm leaving," she threatens. 

"As you wish. Get comfortable, then." He smiles and walks away. "I'll get you a pillow." 

She hears him rummaging and he's quickly back, with a blanket, a pillow, and a grey flannel pyjama set. 

"You can use these if you want. I don't even know when I got them, but they’re too warm for me. I've never used them." He offers it with so much care that she can't say no. "It might be a little too big, but it seems cushy."

“Thank you, Mulder,” she says, grabbing the whole bundle and turning to the couch. “Let me know if you need anything.”

+++++++

_ I need you _ , he ponders saying, but he is afraid of scaring her, so he just nods, retreating to the bedroom.

It seems like he’ll fall asleep easily today; he is tired after a day of being chased by zombies and almost dying.  _ Another day at the office _ . He chuckles at his own lame joke. He’d be dead a thousand times if it weren’t for her. Still, he can’t find a way to let her know how much he needs her.

He heard it in her mind; she loves him. She wants to take a step forward but she won’t let herself do it. And he still doesn’t know why. Trying to push her, slowly, is working, but he’s tired of taking baby steps. A step off the bridge is what he wants to do, but he knows it’ll scare her and make her close up for good. So they keep moving forward at their own particular turtle speed.

Tonight’s kiss was everything he could have wished for for the New Year. It was clumsy and chaste… but he finally touched her lips and they felt like heaven on Earth. He’ll try again tomorrow; it’s settled.  _ New Year, New Me _ . No more holding back, Brave Brand New Fox Mulder. He dreams about holding her at night and keeping her warm.

He’s woken up by the sound of kitchen clattering. Jumping out of bed makes him a bit dizzy, and he almost trips on his shoe left behind in the middle of the room.

Scully is in the kitchen, holding some pans, a couple more on the floor.  _ Shit, I should get the kitchen organized one of these days _ , he blames himself.

“You okay?” he asks heading to help her. “Sorry for the mess.”

“My fault,” she smiles. “I was just looking for the coffee pot—”

“Oops, it broke…”  _ last month _ , he leaves out, “ and I haven’t gotten a replacement yet.”

He scratches his head in shame.  _ She already knows you are screw up, don’t try looking surprised now _ .

The opportunity suddenly presents itself.

“We can get dressed and go grab some breakfast together…”

Her face twitches, and there’s that scared look again.  _ It’s not a date _ , he wants to reassure her. Only he kind of wants it to be.

“I… uhm, I promised my mom I’d have lunch with her today…”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” She relaxes and he smiles. “Maybe later, or tomorrow…” Scared face again.  _ Damn it, change the subject. _ “Anyway, did you sleep well?”

She’s still wearing his pajamas. It doesn’t leave his mind that he would have loved for her to be in his clothes for an entirely different reason. But it’s okay, it’s just a matter of time. He’ll win her over, eventually.

“Yeah, thanks.” She finally loosens up and he feels like he’s won this round. “You were right, they are really warm and cozy.”

They’re too big for her, but she looks lovely. Scully rubs the front of the pajama’s top and it pulls open slightly, enough to let him see more skin than he should have. She notices and closes it in the front.  _ Eyes up, man! _

“I guess flannel is not as fancy as satin, but it does the job.”

There’s an awkward silence again. She isn't giving him much to work with. Better to let her go and reassess his approach. 

“Do you wanna take a shower, or…”

“It’s okay, I’ll just get dressed and leave you to your things. You probably have a lot to do.”

_ I have nothing to do, nowhere to be, nothing better than standing by your side.  _ But she doesn’t want to hear it, not yet at least. So he just nods.

"I'll give you some privacy then." He sighs, walking back into the bedroom. 

A couple minutes later, she knocks on the door. 

“I gotta get going. Are you gonna be all right?”

He’s confused for a moment, completely having forgotten about his arm. Painkillers and her presence were all he needed to feel good.

“Yeah, sure. Don’t worry about me. Not my first wound in battle. Enjoy your day with your mom. Send her my regards.”

Scully rises on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek before heading out. Leave it to her to try and ignore what happened the night before but give him something to hope for.

When he’s out of the shower and ready to start the day, he realizes she’s left everything folded so neatly on his couch. Looking back into the bedroom, he sees his still rumpled sheets. He should try and change his ways for her. 

The pajamas are on top of everything. He instantly decides they're gonna be hers.

+++++++

“Happy belated Christmas,” Mulder says as she enters the office on Monday morning.

She was dreading this moment, wondering how awkward it was going to be. And he just surprises her and makes her forget about all her worries for a moment. Then she starts overanalyzing it. A square flat box is waiting for her on the desk. Why has he decided to do this just now?

“Mulder, we agreed no presents—”

“I know. But I have trouble following the rules, you should know that by now.” He leans back in his chair. “And it’s nothing, actually. C’mon, open it.”

The smile on his face, she loves seeing that. She can’t say no to it.

Removing the lid on the cardboard box, she quickly sees his gray flannel pajamas. They smell like him. She can’t help looking weirdly back at him, scrutinizing his intentions.

“Pick them up,” he just says, smiling even wider.

Grabbing the top piece, she realizes it is smaller, much smaller, than when she wore it two nights ago.

“I had them altered for your size,” he explains before she can ask him. “I want you to keep them. So you can be warm, until…” he hesitates for a second and sighs, “until the freezing nights are over.” 

She can feel that was not what he wanted to say, but she's afraid to ask. 

"Thank you, Mulder. That is very thoughtful." She covers the package again and sets it on her desk. 

During the whole day, she can't stop glancing back to it every now and then. She keeps wishing she was home already so she can wear the pajamas and feel like it is Mulder hugging her. She hates herself a little for not letting him in like that. She knows it's her time to step forward but she still cannot do it. She's glad he is willing to give her time. Hopefully it will be worth it in the end. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please leave a comment, they are the nourishment of writers 😊


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